Wednesday, October 07, 2009
terrible time!!!
disappointment.....
I NEED TO SCREAM!!!!!!!!
i need someone, somewhere, somehow to speak...
sho i turn to my dearest gers & my blog...
i noe my gers are true to mi....
sho m i....
i dun care who read, who comment....
i have nothing to hide from anyone.....
i tot i can hide from u.... but i can't....
i tot i'm right to be true to frenx...
i tot it's time that i can tell u...
i tot u come to mi means u can accept feedback, advise & true feeling....
i tot u r prepare....
i tot u grow.......
i tot........
but.........
I'M WRONG!!!!
TERRIBLY WRONG!!!
i tot the msg u send mi ish to pull us back tgt....
i took veri long time to think....
i struggled....
should i or shouldn't i reply....
should i just put the matter aside & just act nothing happen??
should i tell u wat i feel & see wat happen next??
sho many things went thru my head......
i noe ur temper & ur character well enough...
dat's y i struggled....
but i still decided to tell the truth...
& i regretted....
i send out 2 msg....
although i'm kinda prepared for the outcome....
unexpectedly... it's worse....
much more worse than my expectation............
ur words are contradicting....
wat we see & hear r all erased....
it become.......
i dunno wat to say.....
dunno wat to react.....
wat change u???
i'm hurt by the words u used....
we become nothing to u....
have u forgotten???
who always there when u need frenx??
u might not find us when u need frenx....
u might tell us.... not that u all are not my frenx....
but just that u wish to talk to other ppl....
who din find who???
we are always there....
but u choose ur frenx to turn to...
& it's not us that u need at times.....
u just drop us a msg....
& we r by ur side....
(i'm not trying to get credit.... i just wan to remind u.... have u forgotten all we went thru???)
we give advises/comments....
but it was treated as not wanted person's comment/advise (bullshit)...
now.... just a true feeling & tot from us....
& we become the devil....
i noe I can't go directly to her....
she accept other ppl's comment...
but not AMELIA's.... (y??? i dunno......)
sho....
i drop her some hint here & there as & when....
i even approach frenx to ask them to talk to her....
end up i almost quarrel with that frenx.... (forget it...)
we become the devil who kick her out???
nobody ever learn to be a soccer player.....
until now......
i reali still can't accept the fact.....
unexpectedly.... she sentence us to death....
shut us up & kick us out of her life....
i hope all this will just end as quick as it all started....
i hope this ish our growing process....
i hope we'll be stronger....
i hope..........
i seriously think....
it's okie for ppl to console any of us....
but dun tell us wat to do or wat not to do....
& pls dun judge....
onli those who r in our group are in the right position to judge.....
the rest JUST SHUT UP & MIND UR OWN BIZ!!!!
